Is it bad to still sleep with your baby blanket when you are 21?

Until recently I did not realize my need for comfort items. My biggest most important item is by far my blanket. I have had it since I was born and absolutely refuse to part with it. I even had to warn Joel that if I ever had to choose between him and my blanket...He would be out of luck. I remember when I was little and I would go to school when it was stormy outside, I would test my mom. I would ask her what the one thing she was supposed to grab if there were ever a tornado and I was not there. My blanket of course! I even had a designated spot for my blanket when I was gone so she would know exactly where to grab it.

Lately I have found myself being very clingy to my mom. For some reason I feel like if I surround myself with her I will feel better. I have a huge portrait of my family hanging in my bedroom (joel thinks it is creepy), I have a picture of my mom next to my bed, in my planner and LARGELY posted as my screen saver on my computer. Why that makes me feel better..I have no idea. I think part of me just wants to feel close to her. Sometimes I find myself wishing it was the week she died just so I could be surrounded by her things and people talking about her. I think I am scared that the further I get from the last day I saw her, the more I am going to forget her.

One thing that is really important to me is a necklace she made for me. When my sisters I were cleaning out her apartment we came across these 3 handmade necklaces. We had no idea what they were but then my aunt told us that my mom had mentioned that she was making necklaces for us. I am so glad we found them because it is a piece of her that I can have with me all the time.

As I plan the wedding I find myself trying to find as many ways as possible to include my mom. I have come up with several ways to do this. Silent night was my moms favorite Christmas song. Since I am getting married at Christmas I decided to include the song in our ceremony. Another thing I am including are these beautiful white ornaments that my dad gave to my mom every year for Christmas. Since there will be a Christmas tree in the sanctuary I am going to hang them on the tree. And last, I inherited my mom's 25 years worth of Southern Living cookbooks. There are several Christmas editions and as I was going through them I found several sticky notes marking her favorite ideas that I hope to incorporate in the wedding. I am hoping that with all these little details I will really be able to feel like she is there with me.